Make your own free website on Tripod.com

FUNLOVERZ

JOKES
Home
FUNNY CONTENT
MOBILE MASALA
DOWNLOAD SOFTWARES
SHAYARI
LOVE LETTERS
JOKES
RIDDLES
BEAUTIFUL PICTURES
MAILZ LATEST
FACTS
CHAT ROOM
MUSIC WORLD
DAILY CONTENT
E-CARDS
About Me
FAVOURITE LINKS
HOROSCOPE
Contact Me
My Resume
MINI POLL
POEMS
PLAY GAMES

   www.Bigoo.ws www.Bigoo.ws www.Bigoo.ws www.Bigoo.ws www.Bigoo.ws

Glittery texts by bigoo.ws

 

 

Jokes Munna Bhai

PROFESSOR :
Gandhi Jayanti ke baray mein kya jantey ho?
MUNNA BHAI :
Gandhi bahut jabardast aadmi tha, Baap. Maa Kasam, par apun ko yeh nehin malum ke yeh Jayanti kaun hai.
______________________________

CIRCUIT :
Bhai, Bapu ne bola tha ke kabhi jhoot nehin bolna mangta hai. Apun aaj se kabhi jhoot nehin bolega Bhai.
MUNNA BHAI :
Aye Circuit, woh Sunita ka baap aya hai terayko dund rehla hai.
CIRCUIT :
Bhai usko bolo apun gaon gaya hai, kheti karneko.
MUNNA BHAI :
Par Circuit, abhi to tu bola kabhi jhoot nehin bolega.
CIRCUIT :
Bhai, apun jhoot nehin bolega, par tum to bol sakta hai na.
______________________________

MAMU :
Chand toh raat ko nikalta hai, aaj din mein kaise nikal aya?
GIRL :
Ullu to raat ko bolta hai, aaj din mein kaise bol pada?
_______________________________

CIRCUIT :
Bhai, woh apnay bachpan ka dost aarehla aaj raat ko dinner pe. Mera sara chain collection apnay kamray mein chupa do na please.
MUNNABHAI :
Kyun tera dost chor hai kya?
CIRCUIT :
Nehin Bhai, woh apnay chain pechan lega.
________________________________

MAMU :
Bhai, apnay ko char mahinay mein Tamil sikhna padega. Kuch upay batao.
MUNNA BHAI :
Kannada kyun, aur char mahinay ka kya chakkar hai?
MAMU :
Meinay ek Tamil baccha adopt kiya hai, aur woh char mahinay mein bolne lagay ga.
_______________________________

PROFESSOR :
Akal badi ki bhais?
MUNNA BHAI :
Bole toh pehlay date of birth bata mamu.

______________________________

MUNNA BHAI :
Circuit, bole toh yeh Ford kya hai?
CIRCUIT :
Bhai, gaadi hai.
MUNNA BHAI :
Toh phir, yeh Oxford kya hai?
CIRCUIT :
Bole toh, simple hai bhai, Ox mane Bael, Ford mane gaadi. Oxford bole toh Baelgaadi.
______________________________

Circuit takes a flight to Singapore and he is seated next to an Englishman. Circuit open his tiffin and serves himself a roti.
ENGLISHMAN :
What is this?
CIRCUIT :
Bread India
Circuit then open the box of jalebi.
ENGLISHMAN :
What is this?
CIRCUIT :
Sweet India
With all the food he hogged on, Munna farts. The Englishman is offended and in shock asks ...
ENGLISHMAN :
What is that?
CIRCUIT :
Air India
________________________________

CIRCUIT :
Aye Mamu, tereko papad aur jhapad mein pharak pata hai kya?
MAMU :
Nehin.
CIRCUIT :
To kha ke dekh le, pata chal jayega.
____________________________

MUNNA BHAI :
Mamu, apun bachpan mein dus maley ke building se gir gaya tha.
MAMU :
Aarey, phir kya hua. Bach gaya ki tapak gaya?
MUNNA BHAI :
Yaad nehin hai yaar. Bahut purane baat hai.

____________________________

MUNNA BHAI :
Mamu, tu kitna pada hai?
MAMU :
B.A.
MUNNA BHAI :
Sala, two akshar pada aur woh bhi ulta?

______________________________

MAMU :
Oye, maar gayay yaar. Meri biwi aur premika saath saath aa rehla hai.
MAMU KA DOST :
Arrey, mein bhi yehi bolnewala tha.

________________________________

CIRCUIT :
Oye Short Circuit yeh light bulb pe baap ka naam kya likh raha hai?
SHORT CIRCUIT :
Apun baap ka naam roshan kar rehle hai.

________________________________

PRINCIPAL :
Agar koi ladka girls hostel mein gaya toh first time 100 Rs fine, 2nd time 200 Rs. Fine and 3rd time 500.

MUNNA BHAI :
Boley to Monthly paas ka kya lega Mamu

 

GOOD JOKES

 

2 Dost Suicide karne gae, Pahala : "Hey Bhagwan muje dunia ki saari

nafrat de Pareshani de Duk de!" Dusra dost : "Abe tu maut maang raha

hai ki Reliance mai Job.

 

 

 

Q - What is the Difference Between Mother & Wife ?

A - One Woman Brings U into this world crying... & the other

ensures U

Continue to do so.

 

 

 

Sardar to Shopkeeper: - Mujhe India Ka Flag Dikhao, Shopkeeper ne

Flag

Dikhaya, Sardar: - Isme aur Colour Dikhao.

 

 

 

How can a Sardar Kill a Lion ? Sardarji thinks N thinks hard &

comes to a conclusion: I'll drink poison n let lion eat me. O' bolo

ta ra ra.

 

 

 

A Chinese pair accidentally had twins without getting married, Guess

what they named them... Jo Hua, So Hua.

 

 

Wife : Honey ...... What are You Looking for ?

Husband : Nothing.

Wife : Nothing...?? U've been reading our marriage certificate 4 an

hour ...?? Husband : I was just looking 4 the expiry date.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Papa : beta har parai stri ko apni Maa samjho to tumhara character

thik ho jaaega.....Beta : Lekin Papa fir Aap ke character ka kya

hoga....???

 

 

 

Sardar: O Banno Car ki speed itani ky badha di..? biwi: Oji Car ki

break fail ho gayi hai, Exident ho jaye iske pahale ghar pahunch jaate

hai.

 

 

 

Sardar : Sitting on The Top of the Mountain and Studying.... When a

Person asked what he was doing.... He replied... Oye!! Higher

Studies Yaar...!!!

 

 

Mayawati came to Lalu's House with a Goat.....

Lalu : Bhaiswa ko kyun Layi ho....??

Maya : Dikhta nahi, Goatwa hai..??

Lalu : Hum Goatwa se hi Puch raha Hun..!!

 

 

 

Wife : Do you want dinner?

Husband : Sure, what are my choices?

Wife : Yes and no.

 

 

 

Man : How old is your father?

Boy : As old as me.

Man : How can that be?

Boy : He became a father only when I was born.

 

 

 

Teacher : Correct the sentence, "A bull and a cow is grazing in the

field"

Student : A cow and a bull is grazing in the field

Teacher : How?

Student : Ladies first.

 

 

 

Customer: If I post this letter tonight, will it get to Delhi in two

days time?

Post Master : Yes sir, it definitely will.

Customer : I bet you, it won't.

Post Master : Why not?

Customer : It's addressed to Mumbai.

 

 

 

1st thief : Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window!

2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor.

1st thief : Hurry! this is no time for superstitions

Santa : That Cow is a Lovely Colour ,

Farmer : Yes, it's a Jersey.

Santa : Oh, I Thought it was its Skin...!!!

 

 

 

 

SARDAR JOKES

 

Once a sardar was looking at a WANTED poster & was wondering -

Saala wanted tha to photo kheenchne ke baad use jaane kyon diya ?

*************

 

Sardar car ki battery change karwane gaya ...

Mechanic - Sahab, Exide ki daal doon ?

Sardar - Nahin yaar, dono side ki daal de, warna phir problem hogi.

*************

 

A sardar on an interview for the post of detective was asked a question

Interviewer - Who killed Gandhiji ?

Sardar - Thanks for giving me the job, I will investigate.

*************

 

A Sardar was fond of detective novels, he always read from the middle, why ?

Its double interesting. It builds curiosity not only about its end but also

its beginning !

*************

 

Sardar returns book to library, bangs it on table & says - What a shit ?

"I read the whole book, too many character, no story at all" ?.

Librarian : So, you are the one who took the Telephone Directory....

*************

 

2 Days of Powercut in India made life miserable. Worst affected was Amritsar

where all the SARDARS were stuck for 48 hrs. on Escalaters.....

*************

 

Two Sardars are driving a Car, one puts on the indicator and asks the other

to check whether it is working.

He puts his head out and says - YES..NO..YES..NO..YES..NO

*************

 

Sardarji, tell me ...., what is the meaning of SMS ?

Sardar angrily said, i know -

it means....

S - Sardaron ke

M - Mazak udane ki

S - Service

 

*************

Banta : Oye to har SMS ko do baar kyom bhej raha hai ?

Santa : Kyunki tujhe agar ek forward karna ho to dusra tere paas rahe

Santa Singh bought two tickets to Connaught Place from Tilak Nagar in a DTC bus in Delhi. The conductor was a bit surprised as he could not see anyone with Santa.

Conductor: "Oye Sardaran! Why do you need two tickets? You are travelling alone?"

Santa Singh: "Dont you know.. pick-pocketing is common on buses... so I will keep one ticket in my shirts left pocket and the other in my right! So even if a pickpocket gets at one of my pockets, I will still have a ticket and will not travel without ticket!"

Conductor: "What if a pickpocket gets both your pockets?"

Santa Singh takes out his wallet from his pant pocket: "I have a monthly pass also!"

 

Conductor: "And if someone gets your pant pockets also.. then what.. then you will be fined for travelling without ticket!!"

Santa Singh puts his hand inside his shirt and displays his ID card (hanging with a chain around his neck) and says with a cunning smile: "Phir sadda DTC staff hone ka kya fayada!"

 

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Sardar Gambles

Surjit Singh saw that his friend Baljit Singh was very depressed.

"What happened ?" asked Surjit.

"Yaar, I lost Rs. 800 in a bet yesterday . "

"How come ?"

"Well, yesterday, the one-day match between India and England was being shown live on TV.

"I bet Rs.500 that India would win, but I lost the bet."

" But thats only Rs. 500, where did the rest go ?"

" Yaar, I bet on the highlights too "

 

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

One day Santa Singh goes to hunt in the jungle there he sees a tiger. As he is about to shoot the tiger.

The tiger says "Stop".

Can't you see the board there.

Shocked by this Santa sees it was written "shooting is a crime".

Ashamed Santa throws the gun.

Instantly the tiger picks it up and says now I will shoot you.

Stunned santa says "Why?. Now you cant read whats written there".

"NO" says the tiger "I am illeterate".

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

Cousin Banta

Jallandhar

Dear Banta,

I'm writing this real slow cause I know you can't read very fast. We don't live where we did when you left. We read in the paper that most accidents happen within 10 miles of home, so we moved.

I won't be able to send you our new address cause the last family that lived here took the house numbers with them so they wouldn't have to change their address.

This place has a washing machine. The first day mama put four shirts in, pulled the chain and we have not seen them since.

Its only rained here twice this week. Three days the first time and five days the second time.

I know its cold where you are so we're sending you a coat. Ma said it would be too heavy to mail with them buttons on it, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.

We got a letter from the funeral home. They said if we don't make the last payment on grandma's funeral bill, up she comes!

My sister had a baby this morning. I haven't heard whether it's a boy or a girl, so I don't know if I'm an uncle or an aunt.

Cousin Santa

Ludhiana.

P.S : I was planning to enclose the money that I owe you with this envelope, but I had already sealed this by then

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

A sardar walked up to the front desk of the library and said, "I borrowed a book last week, but it was the most boring I ve ever read. There was no story whatsoever, and there were far too many characters!"

The librarian replied, "Oh, you must be the person who took our phone book."

Dress code 4 a party---BLACK TIES ONLY.

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Banta goes for the party & is surprised 2 c that the other guests r wearing SUITS also!

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

A fat NRI sardarni goes to a gurudwara with a mannat.

She tells giani : Gianai ji, main aaj bhot vaddi aass leke aayi han.

Giani : Main vekhya, jaddo tussi matthha tekya.

 

SIGN MY GUEST BOOK PLZZ
 
Sign my Guestbook from Bravenet.com Get your Free Guestbook from Bravenet.com
 
VISITORS   free web counter

really cool place on net