Once a sardar was looking at a WANTED poster & was wondering -
Saala wanted tha to photo kheenchne ke baad use jaane kyon diya ?
*************
Sardar car ki battery change karwane gaya ...
Mechanic - Sahab, Exide ki daal doon ?
Sardar - Nahin yaar, dono side ki daal de, warna phir problem hogi.
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A sardar on an interview for the post of detective was asked a question
Interviewer - Who killed Gandhiji ?
Sardar - Thanks for giving me the job, I will investigate.
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A Sardar was fond of detective novels, he always read from the middle, why ?
Its double interesting. It builds curiosity not only about its end but also
its beginning !
*************
Sardar returns book to library, bangs it on table & says - What a shit ?
"I read the whole book, too many character, no story at all" ?.
Librarian : So, you are the one who took the Telephone Directory....
*************
2 Days of Powercut in India made life miserable. Worst affected was Amritsar
where all the SARDARS were stuck for 48 hrs. on Escalaters.....
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Two Sardars are driving a Car, one puts on the indicator and asks the other
to check whether it is working.
He puts his head out and says - YES..NO..YES..NO..YES..NO
*************
Sardarji, tell me ...., what is the meaning of SMS ?
Sardar angrily said, i know -
it means....
S - Sardaron ke
M - Mazak udane ki
S - Service
*************
Banta : Oye to har SMS ko do baar kyom bhej raha hai ?
Santa : Kyunki tujhe agar ek forward karna ho to dusra tere paas rahe
Santa Singh bought two tickets to Connaught Place from Tilak Nagar in a DTC bus in Delhi. The conductor was
a bit surprised as he could not see anyone with Santa.
Conductor: "Oye Sardaran! Why do you need two tickets? You are travelling alone?"
Santa Singh: "Dont you know.. pick-pocketing is common on buses... so I will keep one ticket in my shirts
left pocket and the other in my right! So even if a pickpocket gets at one of my pockets, I will still have a ticket and will
not travel without ticket!"
Conductor: "What if a pickpocket gets both your pockets?"
Santa Singh takes out his wallet from his pant pocket: "I have a monthly pass also!"
Conductor: "And if someone gets your pant pockets also.. then what.. then you will be fined for travelling
without ticket!!"
Santa Singh puts his hand inside his shirt and displays his ID card (hanging with a chain around his neck)
and says with a cunning smile: "Phir sadda DTC staff hone ka kya fayada!"
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Sardar Gambles
Surjit Singh saw that his friend Baljit Singh was very depressed.
"What happened ?" asked Surjit.
"Yaar, I lost Rs. 800 in a bet yesterday . "
"How come ?"
"Well, yesterday, the one-day match between India and England was being shown live on TV.
"I bet Rs.500 that India would win, but I lost the bet."
" But thats only Rs. 500, where did the rest go ?"
" Yaar, I bet on the highlights too "
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One day Santa Singh goes to hunt in the jungle there he sees a tiger. As he is about to shoot the tiger.
The tiger says "Stop".
Can't you see the board there.
Shocked by this Santa sees it was written "shooting is a crime".
Ashamed Santa throws the gun.
Instantly the tiger picks it up and says now I will shoot you.
Stunned santa says "Why?. Now you cant read whats written there".
"NO" says the tiger "I am illeterate".
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Cousin Banta
Jallandhar
Dear Banta,
I'm writing this real slow cause I know you can't read very fast. We don't live where we did when you left.
We read in the paper that most accidents happen within 10 miles of home, so we moved.
I won't be able to send you our new address cause the last family that lived here took the house numbers with
them so they wouldn't have to change their address.
This place has a washing machine. The first day mama put four shirts in, pulled the chain and we have not
seen them since.
Its only rained here twice this week. Three days the first time and five days the second time.
I know its cold where you are so we're sending you a coat. Ma said it would be too heavy to mail with them
buttons on it, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.
We got a letter from the funeral home. They said if we don't make the last payment on grandma's funeral bill,
up she comes!
My sister had a baby this morning. I haven't heard whether it's a boy or a girl, so I don't know if I'm an
uncle or an aunt.
Cousin Santa
Ludhiana.
P.S : I was planning to enclose the money that I owe you with this envelope, but I had already sealed this
by then
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A sardar walked up to the front desk of the library and said, "I borrowed a book last week, but it was the
most boring I ve ever read. There was no story whatsoever, and there were far too many characters!"
The librarian replied, "Oh, you must be the person who took our phone book."
Dress code 4 a party---BLACK TIES ONLY.
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Banta goes for the party & is surprised 2 c that the other guests r wearing SUITS also!
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A fat NRI sardarni goes to a gurudwara with a mannat.
She tells giani : Gianai ji, main aaj bhot vaddi aass leke aayi han.
Giani : Main vekhya, jaddo tussi matthha tekya.
