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Riddles

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If a pen is mightier than a sword and a photo more powerful than a thousand words, how dangerous –can a fax be ?

 

What happens when you got scared twice half-dead ?

 

When a schizophrenic threatens to commit suicide are we talking of hostageship?

 

 

What is the velocity of the darkness ?

Why do fortune-tellers first ask your name?

 

How do you know when you run out of invisible ink ?

 

When you strangle a smurf, what colour does he get ?

 

Why are there so many Smiths in the phone book? They all have a phone!

 

What happens when the earth turn 30 times faster?...You get your salary every day and all women bleed dead!!!

 

when is a man worth some money??................When he pushes a trolley

 

Why did the statue of liberty have to be a woman?The head had to be hollow to make a restaurant in it!

 

Why is a false eye made of glass?.....To look through.

 

Why does beer contain female hormones ? ... When you drink too much of it, you cannot say anything sensible any more, you start to nag and you are no longer able to drive a car.

 

How is an intelligent woman called? ....................... A transvestite

 

It has 50 teeth and it holds back or stops a terrible monster? ................... My fly!

 

When do you know you are overweight? .... When you are sunbathing on the beach and a Greenpeace-activist tries to roll you back into the sea.

 

Why did God create the man first and only afterwards the woman? .... To give him the chance to enjoy heaven on earth for just a few moments.

 

Why are men like sperm cells? ...... Only one out of a million is useful.

 

Why are men happy when they finish a puzzle in two months time..... Because the box says : 3 till 5 years.

 

Why can a man not be handsome and intelligent at the same time? .... Because he would be a woman then.

 

Why are men like a toothbrush? .... They are useless without handle.

 

Why are men like snails? ..... They have horns, they slobber and they trudge along, and above all, they think the house is theirs.

 

What happens when a man is in the water up till his navel ? ...... That is beyond his comprehension.

 

Why do have so many men a beer gut? ..... Than at least an unemployed dwarf has a roof over his head.

 

The ressemblance of a man and a cup of coffee? ..... They both get on the nerve.

 

What is the difference between a woman and a fridge? a fridge does not moan when there is meat inside

 

It is round and orange and says:"I am an orange, I am an orange"? .................. a mandarin who thinks big

 

What is the difference between a washing machine and a teacher? a washing machine runs on batteries and a teacher gets on the nerves.

 

What is the difference between a battery and a woman? ...... A battery has also a positive side.

 

why do have men bandy legs? ......... all unimportant matters are between brackets

 

 

How does a dummy catch a rabbit? ... He sits behind a tree and imitates the sound of a carrot.

Why does a stupid blond girl never swim on her belly? ... When she feels something wet she turn on her back.

 

It is white and it stands in the corner? ....... A punished fridge

 

What is ressemblance between a man and a dolphin? They both seem intelligent, but it has not been proven yet!!!

 

Why did God create the man first and only then the woman? ...... Everyone makes a draft first!!!

 

Why do men exist ? Because dildos cannot mow the lawn.

 

Why do women not have a penis ? ......... That comes together with the brains.

 

Why do women have legs ? ...... Otherwise there will be traces of mucus on the kitchen floor.

 

Why the trolleys were invented ? ........ To learn women to walk on their hind legs.

 

What do you do when your mother-in-law is walking in the garden? ...... Shoot again.

 

 

Why does one do some peanut butter on his condom? ...... That makes him big and strong.

 

Wy do the number of traffic accidents with stupid blond girls increase at April 1st? ..... When the traffic light is read they think it is a joke

 

If Adam and Eve were so beautiful, how come that there are so many ugly people ?

 

When a store is open 24 hours a day and 365 days a year, why is there a lock on the door ?

 

When you are not supposed to drive a car when you have been drinking, why do bars have a parking lot ?

 

When swinning is good for the development of our arms and legs, why do fish not have arms and legs ?

 

Blackmail: "When you do not give me the raise I will tell everyone you did give me one."

 

The black box of the plane is indestructible, why do they not make the plane of the same material ?

 

One out of 4 marriages ends in a divorce, what do the other marriages end in ?

 

How does the driver of a gritting vehicle go to work in the morning ?

 

How do you call a woman who looses 90% of her intelligence ??.................................a widow !!!!!

 

Do they have a coffee break at the tea factory ?

 

Does a liar lies when he says he says he is telling a lie ?

 

What do you prefer in the hereafter?...........Smoking or non-smoking area.

 

Where are the first 6 up's ?

 

Why does a kamikaze wear a helmet ?

 

Why does an answering machine never gives an answer when I ask something ?

 

Why do you always find one shoelon the streets ?

 

Why do we call apartements apartements when they are all connected to one another ?

 

Why can you buy sigarettes in a gaz station where it is forbidden to smoke ?

 

Why are you behind a computer, while in fact you are sitting in front of the screen ?

 

why are there life jackets in airplanes and no parachutes ?

 

What do the military do in a civil war ?

 

What is more easy for a man to make, a boy or a girl ? ...........a girl.....there is an example in front of him

 

What do sheep count when they want to sleep ?

 

What does a butterfly feel when he is in love?

 

What whish would stars make when they saw falling people.

 

Who invented milking cows and what did he think when he started doing it ?

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